The fallacy of first impressions

By some estimates people form opinions of other people as quickly as a few seconds. Is it any wonder so many first dates never lead to second dates?

I’m sure there are people who are skilled at sizing up people in a few seconds but most of us aren’t as accurate. Sure, you can get a feeling about someone after a brief encounter but who among us really shows our true colors when meeting someone for the first time? Think back to the last time you went on a first date or met someone new. Did you make a snap judgment based on a first impression? What data did you use to reach your conclusions? Did your judgment turn out to be correct? Or, did your perception change as a result of gathering additional info?

For those of you thinking about your last first date, many probably can’t say whether initial judgments were correct because if you formed a negative first impression chances are there weren’t other encounters to test your hypothesis.

I think more first dates would lead to second dates and beyond if people became more aware of how they form perceptions. With this awareness comes the ability to guard against the distortions your perceptions may cause.

One failsafe is to verify your perceptions about others with other people before landing on a firm conclusion (enter shameless plug). To do so, check out what other people who dated the person think on sites like DateRaters.com.

Another tip is to avoid stereotyping people. For instance, if you know your date is a lawyer don’t assume she can’t be trusted because you believe lawyers in general can’t be trusted (ok, bad example).

The next time you meet someone, try suspending your tendency to form a judgment but take note of your initial impression. Give it a few more interactions then compare notes. If your initial opinion was accurate afterall, well then, you fall in the category of those skilled at sizing people up in seconds. Well done!