Don’t say yes when you want to say no

Are you struggling to get your point across in a way that gets your significant other’s attention without provoking World War III. You could have an assertiveness problem…

Being assertive means identifying your wishes and making them known. It’s standing up for yourself to the appropriate degree (read: some things aren’t worth the fight).

When assertiveness is overdone, it’s aggression. Aggression manifests itself when you do or say something with the intent of hurting others or taking their rights away. Common examples include name-calling, manipulation, or controlling others through threats (e.g. blackmail). Aggressive behavior typically turns out bad for you and your SO.

On the flip side, when you deny your wishes and defer to your SO, you’re demonstrating passivity. Not ideal either especially because you, alone, are the one who ends up losing.

The trick is to find that happy medium between aggression and passivity where assertivess sits. For some tips on how to be more assertive in your relationships, check out the DateRaters.com Dating Development Playbook at http://www.dateraters.com/playbook/playbookFrame.html