Please shut up!

Tonight, I overheard a couple (or should I say 1/2 of the couple) talking on the train about their day. Trying hard as I could not to eavesdrop, I simply couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t as if the conversation was so titillating. Rather, I was flabbergasted at how one-sided the conversation was. I mean, girlfriend couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Her man kept droning on about this colleague, that client, and on and on… I felt compelled to lurch over the seat to cover his pie hole so I could hear about HER day.

There’s a quote that goes “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” This is sage advice whether on a train with your girlfriend, talking with colleagues, or frankly any other personal interaction. Unless you’ve been asked to give a keynote address, your yapper should be shut at least 50% of the time.

This is really important when you’re on a first date, especially if you’re a member of the gender known to be notoriously bad listeners (you know who you are). Guys, you need to show interest in your date by asking genuine questions and stifling the desire to talk about how great you are. Listen attentively to what she has to say and then hit her with good follow-up questions. Prove to her that men can be good listeners.

The best thing about asking questions is that by the end of the date, not only will your date think you’re totally awesome for taking so much interest in her, but not having shared a lot about yourself you inadvertently created some mystique about yourself which is a surefire way to get a second date.