DateRaters.com

I’ve been witness to a few break-ups recently. In 2 of the 3 situations the “dumpee” jumped into another relationship within a couple of weeks. Now, mind you, I’m taking some liberties using the term ”relationship” but if it looks like a duck and quacks like one, it’s probably a duck. There are proper dinners outside the house, romantic notes exchanged over email and SMS, and the tell tale sign… introduction to friends. Oh yeah, and (ahem) sex.

These are not instances of hooking up, FWBs, sexting, or any other modern day, loosey-goosey “no strings attached” tryst. All the evidence points to some form of courtship. What the parties involved claim, however, is that these are “rebounds”. Really? Cuz I’m not so sure.

According to Wikipedia, a rebound is defined as “an undefined period following the break-up of a romantic relationship…rebound relationships are believed to be short-lived due to one partner’s emotional instability and desire to distract themselves from a painful break up.”

That’s as good a definition as any, but it did get me thinking more about what qualifies as a rebound. More importantly, whether categorizing a new love interest as a rebound may actually prevent someone from having something more substantial with Mr. or Ms.Right. Though popular thinking suggests individuals are emotionally incapable of engaging in a serious relationship, I believe that’s a load of crap. Just because you meet someone right after a breakup doesn’t automatically mean the person is transitional - a warm body to pleasure you through the pain of your fresh separation. But, if you convince yourself at the outset that that’s precisely what it is, then that’s likely all it will ever be.

Interestingly, oftentimes a rebound appears to be someone that we would never see ourselves with - the smokin’ hot office skank, the bad boy with mother issues - but these lost souls also need someone to love and maybe you’re that person. And, maybe they are that special someone for you.

All I’m sayin is, don’t define or put conditions on a new  “relationship”, whatever it might be. Telling yourself that your new lover is just a rebound, despite feelings that suggest otherwise, may help protect your ego if things fall apart. But, it also blinds you to the real possibility of a longer-term relationship.