2. Time to brush up on your Ps and Qs

    Making a good impression on your date and his or her inner circle can be an intimidating challenge - especially if your interpersonal skills need some polishing. Naturally, your date’s (and your date’s crew) instinct is to guard against bad influences. Suspect social skills may cause you to be less popular with your date than other suitors, but a couple basic tips to multiply your magnetism can give you the confidence you need to charm the knickers off anyone you meet.

    1) R-E-S-P-E-C-T Respect is absolutely critical when you’re with your date. Always respect your date’s likes and dislikes, don’t speak to them like an angry parent or like they’re an idiot, and when you’re around their friends and family be on your absolute best behavior. If you don’t treat your date’s friends and family with respect, then you risk having your date think you don’t respect him or her. After all, friends and family are an extension of your date.
    2) Enhance your “small talk” skills Small talk helps to establish relationships with people we do not know well. Below are some key points for engaging in small talk. Prepare your own memory jogger including some of these tips and begin using them in social situations.
    • Prepare - Look ahead of time for topics of conversation. Current events, sports, and even celebrity gossip are good topics. Prepare some comments you could use in conversations about each topic. If ya got nuttin’, try the weather - unoriginal, but at least it will buy you some time to think of something better.
    • Listen - Focus on listening for information you hear about your date’s likes, dislikes, hobbies, or interests.
    • Encourage - Demonstrate your interest by using positive non-verbal behaviors (eye contact, nodding of your head, smiling, saying “uh-huh”) to show your date you are engaged and interested in them.
    • Follow up - Use the information you gather to create open-ended questions that will facilitate conversation. Some sample questions are: “How did you get interested in lawn darts?”, “How long have you competed on the international circuit?”, “What shows have you seen recently?”, “Are you a fan of early Renaissance music?”
    • Probe - After asking a question or making a comment, actively listen to your date’s response. Then, follow up with a comment or another open-ended question. The art of small talk is a balance of questions and personal comments. People may perceive they are in the middle of an interrogation instead of a conversation if you only ask questions.

    Following some basic etiquette won’t transform you into Martha Stewart, but it will help avoid a major social faux pas that could cause your date to dump your Philistine ass.